[Ambassadors] for Christ

When I was an undergrad at Fordham University, I was honored to be part of a group called the Rose Hill Society. Made up of 100 or so undergraduates, we volunteered for the Admissions Office -- giving campus tours, running information sessions, sometimes travelling with admissions counselors to different states to talk about the University, chatting up prospective students, and generally just busting at the seams to talk about how much we truly and genuinely loved Fordham University. We were called RHS Ambassadors, and that is truly what we were -- we were messengers, we were servants, we were campus leaders, and we were proud to drive forth the message of the University.

So what does this have to do with Lent?

Well, this past Wednesday, instead of taking my lunch break, I drove over to Villanova and participated in their 12:05 Mass. The place was PACKED! I'm talking shoulder-to-shoulder in the pews, doorways overflowing with bodies, people sitting in the aisles kind of full. It was a beautiful sight. And I wasn't even a little bit annoyed that I had to stand in the back with all the other latecomers. It was truly beautiful to see the Church teeming with people. And it really put it me in the right space and mindset to fully enter into the celebration of the liturgy with my whole heart and my entire being (which has been somewhat of a rarity this year).

The second reading was from Corinthians 5:20-6:2... I think it is worthwhile to include the entirety of the text here:

A Reading from the second Letter of Saint Paul to the Corinthians
Brothers and Sisters: We are ambassadors for Christ, as if God were appealing through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who did not know sin, so that we might become the righteousness of God in him.
Working together, then, we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain. For he says: / In an acceptable time I heard you, / and on the day of salvation I helped you. / Behold, now is a very acceptable time; behold, now is the day of salvation.
The Word of the Lord.

From the moment these words were proclaimed from the ambo, I was immediately drawn to the phrase "ambassadors for Christ," and my mind was simultaneously reminded of the only other context where the word "ambassador" has meant so much to me -- as an RHS Ambassador at Fordham. Isn't it funny how your mind makes connections? Or rather, isn't it funny how God actively draws us to make these connections? I used to say that these were coincidences. But recently, my friend Fr. Tom Marciniak, SJ reminded me of what they truly are: "There are no coincidences in life, Roxanne... There are definitely no coincidences in the Life of the Spirit!" FT (Fr. Tom) calls these moments "God Winks" -- moments when our God grants us little tidbits of information (aka grace) that help us to see things or experience things more clearly. If you've read The Hunger Games, then you can also view them like I do: as little gift-wrapped packages floating down from the sky via parachute and holding something you desperately need. In my case, I desperately needed to make this connection...

To me, being an Ambassador at Fordham was a big deal. It was something I was incredibly proud of, and it was something that I was never scared to proclaim. I represented an institution that I not only respected, but also valued deeply and called my home. I wanted to speak continuously about my love for the Jesuits, for Ignatian traditions, for the Bronx, for faith & justice, for being "men and women for others." I wanted to boast about my amazing friends and the incredible faculty & staff that had become such important and influential parts of my life. I wanted to go on and on about the University Band, Campus Ministry, Global Outreach, the Center for Service & Justice, the Rose Hill Society, intramurals, CLCs, and all the other clubs and organizations that made Fordham what it was. You couldn't stop me from being an Ambassador for Fordham, and after a while, I became an Ambassador for the University beyond my campus duties, but in all my actions, words, thoughts, and commitments. Ambassador had fully permeated my being.

How much more, then, can I be a true Ambassador for Christ? Because I know and believe that my love for God and my pride in being a Christian go far beyond my love for and pride in Fordham. But have my actions truly shown that to be so? Has being an Ambassador for Christ fully permeated my being?

This is my prayer, especially for this Lent: to be a true Ambassador for Christ in all of my words, deeds, actions, thoughts, choices, and commitments. May I have the strength to proclaim my faith proudly, and to live the Gospel daily. Let me speak continuously of my love for Jesus, for the Liturgy, for the good and holy people who have graced my life. I want to boast of the Grey Nuns of the Sacred Heart, the Jesuits, the Sisters of St. Joseph, the Missionary Sisters of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, the Dominicans, the Franciscans, the Presentation Sisters of the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Missionaries of Charity, the Saints I hold dear, the Campus Ministers, and the holy lay men and women who have brought so much joy to my life and have given me such wonderful examples of lived faith. I want to go on and on about being a lay missioner, about feeling called to serve internationally, about my vocation in Campus Ministry. I want to speak proudly about my friends who struggle with their spirituality daily, who are studying theology, who lead CLCs, who worship at mosques, temples, and churches, who advocate for peace & justice, who work with the poor and the maginalized, who want to know God better. I want to be an Ambassador for Christ in the way that I live my life, in the ways that I love my family and friends, in the ways that I treat my neighbors and my enemies.

Let me be your Ambassador, O God.... Let me serve you as you deserve...
Amen.

"Live as though those who know you, but do not know God, come to know God because they know you."
-Anonymous

[BLAST]OFF!

So i created this blog months ago, and through the difficult transitions, the family emergencies, the homesickness, the adjustment to my new job, and moving (twice!), it pretty much got lost in the shuffle. My apologies... Better late than never, right?

I don't know why I chose today of all days to begin writing again. I mean, I have no particular attachment to Valentine's Day and being quite unattached myself this year, it really has solely become just a small reminder of how much I do love my family and friends EVERYday. Nevertheless, I felt the urge to put some stuff down on paper (even if it is virtual paper) and this day seemed as good as any. So here I go...

I am a Cabrini Mission Corps Missioner. I have been since August 2011. And it's taken me quite a bit of time (almost 6 months) to really define myself as such. For the longest time the major descriptive nouns in my vocabulary were exclusively daughter, sister, granddaughter, Catholic, student, friend, Mary Louis graduate, Fordham alum, youth minister. I am at ease with these descriptions. They are me, I am them. No explanations needed. MISSIONER has been a tougher addition, though. LOTS of explanations needed.

Issue #1: No one knows what a missioner is.
Nine times out of ten, people haven't ever heard the word missioner before. If you were to go on dictionary.com and search the word missioner, the definition for missionary would come up. People have heard of missionaries, but very rarely have they heard of missioners. Big difference? Not really. In fact, one online dictionary defines a missioner as someone "of or pertaning to a missionary or missionary work." Many circles would even say that they're the same thing. But I don't know... Somehow, I beg to differ...

Issue #2: Am I reluctant to call myself a missionary? Yes.
I know that I am with the Cabrini Mission Corps, which is run by the Missionary Sisters of the Sacred Heart and founded by a great missionary Saint (Mother Frances Xavier Cabrini). Don't get me wrong! I have no direct issues with missionaries. In fact, I love a lot of missionaries (my housemate, Sr. Grace, MSC being one them)! But I honestly think that the "old" definition for missionary no longer fits the needs and experiences of people today.

What usually comes to mind (at least in my mind) with the word missionary is a lot of proselytizing, a lot of suppression, much oppression, and a great deal of paternalism. How many of those first missionaries into Africa, Australia, Asia, North & South America destroyed some really beautiful cultural traditions and forcibly inserted themselves into the lives of groups of people who did not need them at all? (Ever read Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe?) This is the main issue I have with the word missionary. I do believe that there are missionaries out there who are doing very good work in the name of God, and following in the good footsteps of Holy people like Mother Cabrini and Francis Xavier. But I also believe that there are many others who are abusing their rights, their power, and the Gospel, just as many of the missionaries of the Age of Exploration did. And for that reason, I am not ok with lumping myself into the same category.

Issue #3: I LIKE the word Missioner, but it needs a lot of explaning.
Which brings us back to the original topic of why including the word missioner as a desciptive noun for myself has been a challenge -- because it can be EXHAUSTING explaining what I believe it means. Quite honestly, over the past few months through the daily work of my ministry, my interactions with my community, and the ups and downs of my spiritual life, I have struggled with buying into the whole "missioner lifestyle." Is it for me? Does it fit my beliefs and the ways in which I've decided to live out my faith life? Can I call myself a missioner in public without cringing or saying the word "volunteer" instead? I gotta tell ya, being home for Christmas and seeing all of the extended family was pretty tough!

But it has been almost 6 months. I have been a CMC Missioner for almost 6 months. And those growing pains definitely helped me to state that proudly and know who I am.

I am a Lay Missioner with the Cabrini Mission Corps, rooted in the spirituality and mission of the MSCs and the legacy of St. Frances Xavier Cabrini. I am a proud Filipino-Catholic, the daughter of my immigrant parents, the granddaughter of my Filipino grandparents, a sister to Andrea, a cousin, a niece, a friend, a woman of The Mary Louis Academy, an alumna of Fordham University. My desire to serve as a missioner has grown out of my upbringing, and has been fueled by my Jesuit education to be a "woman for others." Ignatian spirituality is at the root of my being, and I desire wholeheartedly to always be for Christ and do good for the Greater Glory of God. My relationships with the people of South Africa, Brasil, Australia, India, New Orleans, Mississippi, Spain, and the Philippines have taught me to treasure diversity and simplicity...and their plights have spurred me to work for justice in whatever ways I can. I am a missioner in that I am guided by the Gospel and strengthened by the Holy Spirit. I am a missioner in that I choose to go where I believe God is calling me to be. I do not impose, believe that I am better, or promise to do things that are beyond my means. I do promise to learn, grow, empower, live in solidarity, and appreciate generosity and the will of the human spirit. I will leave when I am no longer needed.

It took six months, but I have finally internalized my definition for the word.
And so, I am proud to call myself a CMC Missioner.

+AMDG+AMGSsCJ+